What would you do diffntly if you knew noone would judge you?

This relates to me somewhat strongly because it has been a personal goal in my life to reach a point where I could lead my life in a sort of blissful awareness of what others think of me. I say ‘blissful awareness’ because it is usually said that with ignorance comes bliss, but I think it would be a much more rewarding conclusion to be able to see bliss while being aware of everything around you. I don’t particularly like the idea of ignoring things to be at peace with them, so I have been trying to accept the truth in people’s judgments in order to be at peace with them. In past times of my life I would often find myself afraid to be alone in public places, because when you are without a group of familiar friends you are forced to decide to be yourself. The first difficulty faced here was finding what “myself” was, so I could accurately portray it for others. My conclusion here was that the “real me” was not anything that could be represented accurately, at least with physical limitations such as speech and actions. This made me able to accept the fact that I would never actually appear as I was inside. The second thing that I decided was that nobody ever actually scrutinizes you as much as you scrutinize yourself.

Realizing this allowed me to lead myself much more freely in open spaces. Knowing that people trust you to be yourself regardless of how you think about yourself is very reassuring when it comes to presenting yourself. So my response to the picture would be this: the reality is that the fear of judgment is an irrational one, and what makes people judge you is when they see you afraid of being judged, and not being comfortable with yourself. The best thing to do is to act as if nobody is judging you all the time, even if you are convinced otherwise. 

If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?

How long would the friend be my dearest friend?                                      1

The one that speaks to me with what I think,

Just my own wisdom to me he can lend,

And my inconstant mind he writes in ink.

As an ally him I would not preserve,                                                          5

Two days and two nights my patience would last,

Since for new lore my mind I reserve,

I hear myself plenty, hence he mist avast.

The unheard, unknown I desire to see,

Seeking novel shades in uncharted realms,                                               10

And not learn from answers I can foresee,

But learn from those great sights that overwhelm.

But I don’t want to hear one of his words,

As my mind’ll see, what in my mind is blurred.

What Stands Between You and What You Want?

            My whole life I have always been a spectator. I do not take risks, especially when there is a chance that I may get hurt in the process. In class, if I have an opinion or an answer, I rarely voice it because there is a chance that it may be wrong, even if I know the answer is correct. I have had so many great opportunities and, for the most part, I let them float past, too worried about everything else to do anything else. I would love to do so many more things in this world, but I am being held back, held back by I force that I do not know how to conquer. That force, just happens to be, myself.

            I convince myself not to voice my opinions of books or poems out loud because my opinion could be wrong and I have to be perfect. Everything I do and say must be free from flaws and imperfections. This prevents me from creating solid and long-lasting relationships; I slowly withdraw if I see myself getting too close with any one person. I feel like I have built a wall around myself that no one can break down, including me.

This impenetrable force makes my journey through life much harder than it needs to be. I worry that everyone is watching, waiting for me to mess up so that they may ridicule me to no end. Though I know this is not the case, people still talk behind others’ backs and that adds another layer of resistance to my barricade.

I worry and care too much about what other people think, but I have to come to a place where I can come to terms with myself so that I can tear down that wall and face the world with my head held high. It’s all in my head and only I can be the one to say ‘enough is enough’ and move on with my life. All that’s left to do is figure out how to do it.

What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

Whenever I am with certain people because of either their authority over me or people who I just do not want to embarrass myself in front of, usually teachers, friends, coaches at tryouts, college admission staffs, and even my parents sometimes. Now I know that all the people say that they know me, but the question is, is that do they actually know me for who I am, or how they see or perceive me to be. If people were not to judge me, they I feel like I would be more confident in activities and aspects that are not in my comfort zone.  Everything I do would be more spontaneous, and those activities and aspects about me that are in my comfort zone would thrive to be near to, or if not at perfection. Soccer is one thing that I am confident of because it is in my comfort zone. I know that people are judging me when I play because that is basically just part of the game. With every sport you are constantly getting judged. You're getting judged  by your opponents, fans, coaches, game officials, your own teammates, if it is a team sport, but mostly you are judging yourself.  If I channeled all of my confidence from soccer into something that is not in my comfort zone like basketball, then I feel like I would be a much better player because I know that no one is judging me and the fact that I can play, just to play the game and not to try to impress anyone. Now channel that analogy to life in general. People, I know that I certainly do, are always trying to impress everyone, even just down to their morning routine by trying to make themselves look presentable. If I knew that no one would be judging me, then I would be my crazy, energetic self that loves to be active and just randomly blurt out into song, even though I am extremely tone deaf, but then reality kicks in and you realize that you're in a world filled with judgmental people that you really cannot escape no matter how hard you try, you're stuck, but the best thing I can do is just not think about the people who I am trying to impress and just go along with my day and live life to the fullest.