Desire of the Soul

Laura O’Neill and Mallory Fredericks
Mrs. Boyle
Honors Literature and Composition II
11/18/11

Desire of the Soul

           
            This wasn’t where she wanted to be. Mary Ellen’s luck with flying had never been an enjoyable one, and the place she was headed made it that much more harrowing. Her sister’s passing had left her emotionless and empty inside. Before the accident, Mary Ellen was as happy and light hearted as a 25 year old graduate student could be. The night of the skiing accident was one that Mary Ellen wouldn’t soon forget. It was a bitter night on the mountain-cold and windy; the snow was coming down in buckets. The snow, that was the problem. If only her sister had been able to see, then maybe her life would have been spared. The snow lightly fell as Mary Ellen watched from inside the terminal, each flake another reminder of what happened a year ago on that fateful January day. It had been a year since the death, but only now was the family able to fully accept the fact that she was gone, and have a proper funeral at the sight of the accident. She heard the announcement for her flight’s boarding. With one last look out the window, she headed to the long line, where she would stand, only to dread the inevitable embarkation.
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Mary Ellen boarded the plane, and looked for her seat. She sat down in the glossy leather seat, and breathed a woeful sigh. She was not looking forward to this flight. Five hours on a plane, each hour passing would only leave her with a greater feeling of apprehension. She reclined her seat and put on her eye-mask, having the intention of keeping it on for the remainder of the flight. Minutes after, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She lifted her eye-mask and saw a man standing in the aisle next to her seat. He looked to be in his late twenties, tall with jet black hair and brown eyes that gleamed.

“Pardon me, I’m sorry to disturb you, I think my seat is next to yours.” He said with sincerity.

“What seat are you?” Mary Ellen asked in a tone of contempt. The man pulled out his brown Cole Haan wallet and took out his boarding pass.

“Seat 2B,” he said. She gave him a look of resentment and moved her bag from the seat. He sat down next to her and watched as she quickly lay back down and covered her eyes once more with the eye mask. He couldn’t help but notice her eyes before she closed them. They were a clear watery blue and looked even brighter against her copper hair. She was naturally beautiful, and aside from her discourteous attitude, he could not believe his luck with being seated next to such an impeccable woman. He looked across the aisle and smiled at the older man in the seat across from his. The man gave him a reassuring wink and continued on reading his magazine.

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Mary Ellen was abruptly awoken by the sound of luggage hitting the sides of the seats. She slowly took off the eye-mask and was shocked to see another woman leaning across her seat. The woman was unlike anything that Mary Ellen had seen before. Her gaudy outfit and excessive use of sequins and the color red were the first thing that caught Mary Ellen’s eye, followed by the ample amount of cleavage that the woman was revealing. The woman couldn't have been five feet tall, and had piercing sea green eyes that reflected in the shine of her outfit. None of this seemed to faze the man she was sitting next to, so she assumed that they were acquaintances. The man smiled at the woman and whispered something that was inaudible, though it put a grin on the woman’s face. After these words were spoken, she looked below her and seemed almost shocked to see Mary Ellen.
            “Oh I’m sorry, how impolite of me to not introduce myself,” the woman said “The name is Gabrielle Brown, but you can call me Babs- everyone does” She gave a coy wink and continued with the conversation. Mary Ellen paid little attention to what she was saying. She was preoccupied with the tone of her voice, and how deep it seemed for a female.
            “...that’s how Kenneth and I met,” Babs’s voice resurfaced and brought Mary Ellen back to attention.
            “...Kenneth?” Mary Ellen questioned. She heard a cough from the seat next to her, and turned.
            “That would be me. Kenneth Kane,” The man that she was seated next to said.
            “Clearly someone had no interest in my story” Babs said mockingly.
            “Oh...I’m Mary Ellen Bowden, nice to meet you. Sorry, I’ve been absent minded these past couple months,” Mary Ellen said, directing her gaze upward from Babs chest to her face.
            “Well, Honey, aren’t we all?” Babs laughed as she moved back into the aisle.   

Mary Ellen turned around in her seat, facing Babs, “Yes... So how do you know Kenneth, again?”

“We work together. Same company for about 5 years now.” Kenneth said with intent.

“And what company would that be?” Mary Ellen asked pointedly. She was not easily impressed, and that Babs character sure seemed like she ran an interesting line of work.

“Craft Performance Apparel!” Babs proclaimed. “We sell the highest quality ski equipment in all of the US.”

“Oh...how exciting,” Mary Ellen said nonchalantly.

Mary Ellen pulled her eye-mask back on, indicating the end of the conversation. Babs walked to her seat next to an elderly man who was reading a magazine. She took off her sequin red coat, and sat down. She initiated conversation with the man who she came to know as Howard Pierce.  He was about 60 years old and had a calm demeanor about him. His silver hair framed his hazel eyes that flickered with an honest wisdom. As they got talking, she noticed that something about him was out of the ordinary. She couldn’t quite place what it was, but wanted to find out.

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After a while, Babs got out of her seat to go to the restroom. This was the hardest part for her; to know that she couldn’t portray the person she felt on the inside, out. Unknowingly, Howard walked in on her. He was shocked to find that the woman he had been sitting next to was standing in front of the toilet. Babs, shocked, let out a scream and slammed the door. Howard warily walked back to his seat and sat down slowly. Had he really seen what he saw? So many questions raced through his mind and left him mystified. Babs soon returned and averted her gaze, mortified. They sat like that in silence for awhile.

“I’m a transvestite...” Babs broke the ice. Interrupt

“I’m Howard, nice to meet you” Howard joked, and smiled at her. Babs returned the joke and laughed with him. They continued with this joking, until Babs turned the conversation around:

“You know about me, but I have yet to learn about you”

“There’s not much to know, I lived my life a long time ago” Howard stated simply.

“That can’t be all there is to it” Babs came back with. She knew something was up, and wasn’t getting off the plane until she knew.

“Well, if I tell you something, do you promise to keep it to yourself?” Howard asked cautiously.

“A secret for a secret” Babs smiled as she said this.

“I am carrying a gun on this plane...” Howard began to say. Babs’s face turned white with fear as he continued “...because I am an air Marshall.”

“Thank God!” Babs called out in relief as their never-ending conversation sustained.

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Mary Ellen woke up from her nap and brought her seat back to the return position. She yawned and took off her eye-mask.

“Slept long enough,” Kenneth said, giving Mary Ellen a genuine smile.

“I have a lot on my mind, sleeping is the only time that I get to forget about my problems if only for a little while,” she said, her eyes glazed over.  

“Well for me, talking about it helps,” Kenneth said offering. “I mean, you don’t have to, it’s just a suggestion...”

“Well some people aren’t good listeners,” she retorted.

“I’m not some people...”Kenneth said timidly.

Mary Ellen took a deep breath and looked at Kenneth honestly. “My sister loved to ski. Every Saturday morning, you could always find her on the mountain. Whether she was racing or just going for fun, I never saw her unhappy when she was skiing. She was really careful too, she made sure to not go on the unmarked trails...” Her voice trailed off. Kenneth’s quiet assurance put her at ease and allowed her to continue with the story.

            “It was mid January, Shannon and I were in Colorado Springs staying at ski resort for the weekend. We had been skiing all day, but we got weather reports that a storm was heading in, so I thought it was best if we just called it a day. I’d had a bad headache, and felt we should just go relax for a bit until the storm passed. Shannon being the ski enthusiast she is, decided to stay out for just a few more runs down the mountain. If I had just known how quickly the storm came in...I would’ve never let her go back out on the mountain…”

Mary Ellen suppressed the urge to cry, but quickly found this to be too difficult to manage. Kenneth reached over and pulled her close. He held her as she cried the tears she had been holding in since the day her sister passed. Babs looked longingly from the seat across the aisle and wished that it was her in Kenneth’s arms. She looked to Howard and saw that he was fast asleep. Under the chair was his briefcase. She silently reached down, opened it and pulled out what she needed. Suddenly, she knew what she had to do.
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Towards the end of the flight Kenneth got restless. He got up to go to the lavatory and started to make the seemingly endless trek down the aisle. Babs saw where he was headed and got up to follow with what she needed from the briefcase in hand. Once he neared the door, Kenneth turned around, only to find that Babs was behind him. He looked at her and gave her a friendly smile like always, and faced the bathroom door again. Just as he was about to open it, Babs stopped him.
            “Kenneth...there’s something I need to tell you”
            “I know your secret...its okay, I’m not a judgmental person” Kenneth stated carefully.
            “It’s not that, though I assumed you knew” Babs continued, “Kenneth, I love you.”
            He looked at her, speechless. It took him a minute to comprehend what was just said.

“Are you going to say something? Anything?” she pleaded.

“Babs,” He started, “There are no words...”

“I love you too would be a start...” Babs whispered.

“But I could never...”

“Never what?? Love someone like me?” Babs interrupted, her anger and frustration growing.

“I could never love you the way I would love an actual woman, and we both know that” Kenneth pressed, defensively.

“If you can’t love me, than there’s no need for me to be around you...” In the end it didn’t matter. The idea of living without the man she loved, while he was with another woman was too much. Babs took out the gun, lifted it to her head, and pulled the trigger.