Mariah Weintraub and Erin Joyce
11-17-11
Boyle F
Creative Writing
On a rainy thursday afternoon Amberlynn Gershkovich was walking to class when she realized she left her backpack in her room. She ran back to her room only to find a mysterious envelope on her bed. The envelope was red with white writing and it read “Amberlynn, read me” Amberlynn, being the good student she is, placed the envelope in her pocket and ran to class.
Amberlynn knew she was going to be late so she sprinted the whole way to the JRCAC, she arrives at her classroom only to see no one there. She walks down the hallway looking for her class and sees that all the other classrooms are empty as well. Confused, she runs to the main building and finds that empty too, then off to the dining hall, then to the health center, and then when she is at a loss of what to do next, a lightbulb goes off in her head. The envelope! She opens her backpack and reaches for the envelope, she slowly opens the seal, nervous of what may be inside. Her mind still racing due to the fact that campus is a ghost town for some strange reason. She reaches in the envelope and pulls out a single sheet of lined paper.
“Dear Amberlynn,
It’s up to you.
It’s all up to you.
The world is in your hands Amberlynn.
There’s a door under the cemetery, go there if you wish to see your family and friends again...
Ever.”
Amberlynn thinks for a minute, she’s unsure of what to do next. She reaches in her pocket and grabs her cell phone, with no other option she dials 911, and then the last thing she wanted to read at the moment appeared “call dropped, no service” Amberlynn was extremely confused, she doesn’t have verizon, her iphone usually gets three bars in the health center. She screams at the top of her lungs “Help, can anybody hear me?” when it becomes apparent to her that nobody is with in hearing distance of her, she heads for the cemetery.
She had never before noticed the door in front of the cemetery, but now that she realized it there she can’t stop looking at it. It was practically asking her to open it and step in side. So she did. She steps inside a white room with nothing besides an elevator, she gets freaked out and turns around to leave, but not before someone shuts the door behind her. She screams and lunges for the door knob, when that fails she pounds on the door hoping that whoever locked her in is just playing some sick prank on her and plans to open the door for her in ten minutes. She waits for three hours for someone to come let her out of the white room, constantly screaming and banging on the door, when it seems theres nothing else to do, she presses the up button on the elevator.
She waits for what seems to be two days before the elevator dings, in all reality it must have been at least fifteen minutes. The elevator opens and the first thing she sees is a tall boy, who looked around sixteen, with big brown eyes, shaggy brown hair, a black tee shirt on, and pants that seemed to made out of a material similar to aluminum foil. His eyes light up when he sees her, “Amberlynn Gershkovich, I’ve been waiting for you”.
He grabs her hand and pulls her in the elevator, in shock she doesn’t react she just looks around, the elevator is also white, but the interesting thing about this elevator was the white leather couch towards the back, the two helmets sitting in the corner, and the ridiculous amounts of floors this elevator could go to. It was even more interesting when she read the buttons because they weren’t numbers, they were words she’d never heard of before like Hupter, Zynel, and Potherus. The strange brown haired boy introduces himself as Christopher Jacobson and clicks a button that reads Witherford. A voice comes over an intercom of some sort “take off in one minute, please put on your helmets” Amberlynn snaps back in to reality and starts hyperventilating. Christopher tries to calm her down “Amberlynn, don’t be scared, it’s okay” Amberlynn still freaking out “What do you mean calm down, I’m in an elevator with a complete stranger and who was that on that on the intercom?”
“That was Lord Faurquad on the intercom, he controls the planet of Witherford, and that’s where we’re headed. Lord Faurquad is one of the kindest men you’ll meet on our journey, he has red hair, he’s short and stubby, but he has a heart the size of Jupiter, but more importantly put on your helmet, before we take off!” Right as he finishes his sentence Lord Faurquad goes over the intercom “Take off in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1” Amberlynn and Christopher both place on their helmets and sit on the leather couch. Lord Faurquad sounds over the intercom again “Amberlynn, nice to finally meet you it’s time I explain what’s going on, you’ve been chosen for a journey to save planet Earth! We’re taking you to Witherford and the first person you will meet is the planets joker, Richard. Looks like we’re here, Richard should be outside waiting.”
The doors open and all she sees is steel buildings and some modern transportation device that looks like a train, but without wheels, in fact it floats right over the train tracks. Then an extremely muscular man with broad shoulders, blonde short hair, and dressed in a tuxedo steps in front of Amberlynn. Amberlynn surprised by how calm she is introduces herself “I’m Amberlynn, you must be Richard” “Good guess, and I of course already know who you are, nice to finally meet you, we’re going to get on the train together and your going to be faced with a test that may upset, but realize this is just a game, a game with all of planet earth being risked...” Amberblynn feels comfortable in Richards presence so she holds his and starts crying “I’m scared” “Don’t be” Richard says “Just do what you think is right. Everything will be okay in the end, if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”
Amberlynn follows Richard to the transportation device and he explains to her more of whats going on and introduces her to some people, and Richard being the town joker makes her less stressed out and almost at ease. She learns that this task should be fairly easy to complete, it just involves making lots of decision, and following her heart. On the transportation device she meets Jaime the mayor of the planet who seems rude and isn’t too appealing to the eye. She also meets Ben and Kimberly an elderly couple who seem endlessly in love, the way Ben looked at Kimberly you could tell he’s so happy to be with her. All the new people she meets on the bus wish her good luck, but seem slightly scared for her.
The transportation device stopped and Amberlynn realized it was time for her to get off, she grabbed Richard’s hand and pulled him with her, but he tells her he can’t come although he wishes he could, but if all goes well he’ll see when her test is over he tells her that she’ll know what to do when she steps outside. A women with extremely long grey hair, brown eyes, and a friendly smile was waiting outside for Amberlynn. The woman looked painfully familiar, she knew she had seen that smile before, but the second she heard the voice it all came back to her. “Amby, my darling” The grey hair women practically sung Amberlynns name. Aberlynn jumped into her grandmas arms “Nana! I’ve missed you! What’s going on?” “You’re doing what I was never able to do hunny, I failed the test and now it’s your turn to pass it or all life form will start over on Witherford, and Earth will be forgotten, just like what happened with me with Pluto. I hate that I have to do this to you baby, I really do, but I’m giving you options. When you were younger you said in life all you wanted was to be beautiful, famous, have a big house, a wonderful and attractive husband, and an endless supply of money. Now comes the time when you can either back up what you said, or consider yourself a changed person. In order for you to obtain all of the qualities that you classified as an amazing life someone has to suffer, either your parents can live until 55 and die of cancer; a stranger you don’t know who just got accepted to the nhl, his life long dream, can die in a fire; or your neighbor who just had a set off twins has to wake up with her 10 days old twins missing never to return home.” Amberlynn just breaks down in to tears “ Nana this is terrible, this is all wrong, I was selfish when I said that, I never wanted anyone to get hurt for me to be happy, Nana, Nana, what do I do?” At this point Nana is shaking having to put her granddaughter through this torture “Honey, I’m sorry that I have to do this, but the only other option is for you to live a terrible life and die at the age of 17 when you commit suicide because you can’t handle living a life so horrible.”
This was the exact moment Amberlynn had some sort of a revelation, she thought out some scenarios in her head, and as great as a life of beauty, fame, and money sounds she wouldn’t be able to enjoy it if someone had to suffer for it. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself having ended someones life and ruined all of the lives of their friends and family. “I’m sorry that I have to do this Nana, I love you, but I’m only going to live until seventeen...” Amberlynn expected to see her Nana start crying, or hug her, or react anyway other than the way she did, a smile crept across Nana’s face. “I’m so proud of you, I’m so proud of you my sweet darling Amberlynn. You proved yourself to me, and to yourself, and because of your selflessness, you can return home to Earth a new and improved person.” Amberlynn and Nana hugged and that’s when I felt a hand on my back, I turned around and it was Richard “Congrats Amberlynn, I’m impressed, now it’s time to go home.” Amberlynn and Nana said their goodbyes and Richard took Amberlynn back to the elevator and kissed her on the forhead “I’ll miss you Amberlynn” Then the elevator doors closed, she put on her helmet and listen to Lord Farquad’s countdown, and returned home a strong, selfless individual.
11-17-11
Boyle F
Creative Writing
On a rainy thursday afternoon Amberlynn Gershkovich was walking to class when she realized she left her backpack in her room. She ran back to her room only to find a mysterious envelope on her bed. The envelope was red with white writing and it read “Amberlynn, read me” Amberlynn, being the good student she is, placed the envelope in her pocket and ran to class.
Amberlynn knew she was going to be late so she sprinted the whole way to the JRCAC, she arrives at her classroom only to see no one there. She walks down the hallway looking for her class and sees that all the other classrooms are empty as well. Confused, she runs to the main building and finds that empty too, then off to the dining hall, then to the health center, and then when she is at a loss of what to do next, a lightbulb goes off in her head. The envelope! She opens her backpack and reaches for the envelope, she slowly opens the seal, nervous of what may be inside. Her mind still racing due to the fact that campus is a ghost town for some strange reason. She reaches in the envelope and pulls out a single sheet of lined paper.
“Dear Amberlynn,
It’s up to you.
It’s all up to you.
The world is in your hands Amberlynn.
There’s a door under the cemetery, go there if you wish to see your family and friends again...
Ever.”
Amberlynn thinks for a minute, she’s unsure of what to do next. She reaches in her pocket and grabs her cell phone, with no other option she dials 911, and then the last thing she wanted to read at the moment appeared “call dropped, no service” Amberlynn was extremely confused, she doesn’t have verizon, her iphone usually gets three bars in the health center. She screams at the top of her lungs “Help, can anybody hear me?” when it becomes apparent to her that nobody is with in hearing distance of her, she heads for the cemetery.
She had never before noticed the door in front of the cemetery, but now that she realized it there she can’t stop looking at it. It was practically asking her to open it and step in side. So she did. She steps inside a white room with nothing besides an elevator, she gets freaked out and turns around to leave, but not before someone shuts the door behind her. She screams and lunges for the door knob, when that fails she pounds on the door hoping that whoever locked her in is just playing some sick prank on her and plans to open the door for her in ten minutes. She waits for three hours for someone to come let her out of the white room, constantly screaming and banging on the door, when it seems theres nothing else to do, she presses the up button on the elevator.
She waits for what seems to be two days before the elevator dings, in all reality it must have been at least fifteen minutes. The elevator opens and the first thing she sees is a tall boy, who looked around sixteen, with big brown eyes, shaggy brown hair, a black tee shirt on, and pants that seemed to made out of a material similar to aluminum foil. His eyes light up when he sees her, “Amberlynn Gershkovich, I’ve been waiting for you”.
He grabs her hand and pulls her in the elevator, in shock she doesn’t react she just looks around, the elevator is also white, but the interesting thing about this elevator was the white leather couch towards the back, the two helmets sitting in the corner, and the ridiculous amounts of floors this elevator could go to. It was even more interesting when she read the buttons because they weren’t numbers, they were words she’d never heard of before like Hupter, Zynel, and Potherus. The strange brown haired boy introduces himself as Christopher Jacobson and clicks a button that reads Witherford. A voice comes over an intercom of some sort “take off in one minute, please put on your helmets” Amberlynn snaps back in to reality and starts hyperventilating. Christopher tries to calm her down “Amberlynn, don’t be scared, it’s okay” Amberlynn still freaking out “What do you mean calm down, I’m in an elevator with a complete stranger and who was that on that on the intercom?”
“That was Lord Faurquad on the intercom, he controls the planet of Witherford, and that’s where we’re headed. Lord Faurquad is one of the kindest men you’ll meet on our journey, he has red hair, he’s short and stubby, but he has a heart the size of Jupiter, but more importantly put on your helmet, before we take off!” Right as he finishes his sentence Lord Faurquad goes over the intercom “Take off in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1” Amberlynn and Christopher both place on their helmets and sit on the leather couch. Lord Faurquad sounds over the intercom again “Amberlynn, nice to finally meet you it’s time I explain what’s going on, you’ve been chosen for a journey to save planet Earth! We’re taking you to Witherford and the first person you will meet is the planets joker, Richard. Looks like we’re here, Richard should be outside waiting.”
The doors open and all she sees is steel buildings and some modern transportation device that looks like a train, but without wheels, in fact it floats right over the train tracks. Then an extremely muscular man with broad shoulders, blonde short hair, and dressed in a tuxedo steps in front of Amberlynn. Amberlynn surprised by how calm she is introduces herself “I’m Amberlynn, you must be Richard” “Good guess, and I of course already know who you are, nice to finally meet you, we’re going to get on the train together and your going to be faced with a test that may upset, but realize this is just a game, a game with all of planet earth being risked...” Amberblynn feels comfortable in Richards presence so she holds his and starts crying “I’m scared” “Don’t be” Richard says “Just do what you think is right. Everything will be okay in the end, if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”
Amberlynn follows Richard to the transportation device and he explains to her more of whats going on and introduces her to some people, and Richard being the town joker makes her less stressed out and almost at ease. She learns that this task should be fairly easy to complete, it just involves making lots of decision, and following her heart. On the transportation device she meets Jaime the mayor of the planet who seems rude and isn’t too appealing to the eye. She also meets Ben and Kimberly an elderly couple who seem endlessly in love, the way Ben looked at Kimberly you could tell he’s so happy to be with her. All the new people she meets on the bus wish her good luck, but seem slightly scared for her.
The transportation device stopped and Amberlynn realized it was time for her to get off, she grabbed Richard’s hand and pulled him with her, but he tells her he can’t come although he wishes he could, but if all goes well he’ll see when her test is over he tells her that she’ll know what to do when she steps outside. A women with extremely long grey hair, brown eyes, and a friendly smile was waiting outside for Amberlynn. The woman looked painfully familiar, she knew she had seen that smile before, but the second she heard the voice it all came back to her. “Amby, my darling” The grey hair women practically sung Amberlynns name. Aberlynn jumped into her grandmas arms “Nana! I’ve missed you! What’s going on?” “You’re doing what I was never able to do hunny, I failed the test and now it’s your turn to pass it or all life form will start over on Witherford, and Earth will be forgotten, just like what happened with me with Pluto. I hate that I have to do this to you baby, I really do, but I’m giving you options. When you were younger you said in life all you wanted was to be beautiful, famous, have a big house, a wonderful and attractive husband, and an endless supply of money. Now comes the time when you can either back up what you said, or consider yourself a changed person. In order for you to obtain all of the qualities that you classified as an amazing life someone has to suffer, either your parents can live until 55 and die of cancer; a stranger you don’t know who just got accepted to the nhl, his life long dream, can die in a fire; or your neighbor who just had a set off twins has to wake up with her 10 days old twins missing never to return home.” Amberlynn just breaks down in to tears “ Nana this is terrible, this is all wrong, I was selfish when I said that, I never wanted anyone to get hurt for me to be happy, Nana, Nana, what do I do?” At this point Nana is shaking having to put her granddaughter through this torture “Honey, I’m sorry that I have to do this, but the only other option is for you to live a terrible life and die at the age of 17 when you commit suicide because you can’t handle living a life so horrible.”
This was the exact moment Amberlynn had some sort of a revelation, she thought out some scenarios in her head, and as great as a life of beauty, fame, and money sounds she wouldn’t be able to enjoy it if someone had to suffer for it. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself having ended someones life and ruined all of the lives of their friends and family. “I’m sorry that I have to do this Nana, I love you, but I’m only going to live until seventeen...” Amberlynn expected to see her Nana start crying, or hug her, or react anyway other than the way she did, a smile crept across Nana’s face. “I’m so proud of you, I’m so proud of you my sweet darling Amberlynn. You proved yourself to me, and to yourself, and because of your selflessness, you can return home to Earth a new and improved person.” Amberlynn and Nana hugged and that’s when I felt a hand on my back, I turned around and it was Richard “Congrats Amberlynn, I’m impressed, now it’s time to go home.” Amberlynn and Nana said their goodbyes and Richard took Amberlynn back to the elevator and kissed her on the forhead “I’ll miss you Amberlynn” Then the elevator doors closed, she put on her helmet and listen to Lord Farquad’s countdown, and returned home a strong, selfless individual.
I reallt enjoyed reading/writing this paper. I think it was very well written. I like the stories theme and the detail put into the story. I am glad to have Mariah as a co-author because she is a great student.
ReplyDeleteThanks Erin! I loved writing this with you! I feel that me and Erin got very creative with this, our goal was to keep the reader entertained and not wanting to put our story down.
ReplyDeleteit was a good story! i liked reading it! one thing that i would work on is just making it flow a little better. B+
ReplyDeletedefinatelya good story, but the trap with science fiction of any kind is not falling into a formulaic sort of plot. nonetheless, good job.
ReplyDeleteB
* definitely a
ReplyDeleteThe story line is good, but the story needs a little tweaking as far as the transition of paragraphs go. Apart from that very well done. B+
ReplyDeleteI think you should have elaborated on the big scenario that was gonna go down, but I understand there was a limit. I think if maybe it had been planned out a little better, with more focus on the middle of the story than the beginning. I really liked your idea, it definitely kept my entertained, plus that it incorporated the cush. No one else did a sci-fi thing, I think that was really cool of you guys (:
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p.s. the last comment was keeley
ReplyDeletep.p.s. i love the Lord Farquad ;)